At the beginning of my pagan path, I was pretty exclusively devoted to Mictecacihuatl, as I had been to her semi-Catholic syncretic form, La Santa Muerte. I was in a very dark, barely-getting-by place in my life, and that's something that really drew me to her--that she deals in harsh realities and in doing what's necessary just to survive. Last fall, she and I had a rather nasty falling-out (I've told the story before; she had the idea that it was my best friend's time, and I argued with her about it) and she didn't speak to me for several months. A while back, she put a bug in my ear that she was calling in a promise I'd made for her in exchange for my friend's life, that I'd get a tattoo to honor her. My appointment to get the tattoo is in a little over 3 weeks.
Lately, I've been getting to know Brighid, and I'm getting the feeling that, while it's not so harsh that I'd describe it as a "thwap," she'd like me to stick close to her, and that I can't really serve Mictecacihuatl and walk the path Brighid wants me to follow. I feel like I have to get the tattoo, because I made the promise, but I'm afraid that if I do, I'll be obligated, and that it's going to make it harder to move forward. Mictecacihuatl helped me through a very ugly time in my life, but I feel like she was interested in the person I was, rather than Brighid, who's a better example for the person I want to be, and (if this makes sense) Mictecacihuatl has always made me feel like I was her property, while Brighid has made herself known more as a mentor/"older sister" figure. Not a mother, exactly, but looking out for me, and leading me in the right direction.
So what can I do? I don't want to be tied down to a goddess who won't let me go down the path I need to go down to grow as a person, but I don't want to piss her off, either. Would it be inappropriate to get the tattoo as sort of a closing of my account, so to speak, with Mictecacihuatl? Sort of like, I've done what I promised, so this is goodbye? The other goddesses I've worked with don't seem to care--they've just sort of backed off. But Mictecacihuatl has a bit of a temper, and I really don't want to see her angry. I just really get the impression that Brighid thinks I'm running with the wrong crowd and would like me to reconsider my association with Mictecacihuatl.
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