Friday, January 04, 2008

Finding your path.... Any path....

I'm a newbie poster here and would like some friendly advice and conversation. My need for advice centers around a question. How do you find your path, and stick to it when it goes against your upbringing? Yes, I understand that the simplest answer to this is - find what you believe and follow it. And that's all well and good, but my problem is that I don't know what I believe and I don't want to be wrong. I don't want to choose a Wiccan, Pagan, Druidic - or even Catholic, Jewish, or Muslim pathway and be wrong and be damned for all eternity (or any other definition of Hell.)

I grew up Baptist. Spent time in Methodist, Presbyterian, Pentecostal, and non-denominational churches. But my problem with Christianity has always gone back to the holes and discrepancies in the Bible - not to mention the clear absence of HIM in my life. I'm not saying those who believe are wrong. I envy them in fact. I envy anyone who is able to find peace and purpose in any religion. Eventually, I spent some time as a pseudo Christian Wiccan. (Please don't flame me for this one, I know many people disagree on whether such a practice is even possible. Let me simple say that I 'practiced magic' (simple job, protection, etc spells - but called on no additional deities.)

There are a few things that I 'feel right' about. I know I like to think of my higher power as a loving, merciful, woman and not a temperamental, dictator-like man (aka "My Impressions of God.) I know I want magic to be real, but I don't know how much of what my spells accomplished was due to the spell, and how much was coincidence or fate. I know that Brigid, seems to strike a note with me, but I don't know why. Many would say those two things alone are enough to pick a path. But again, having grown up in Christian religion, I don't want to 'piss God off'. I can't prove He's out there, but I can't prove He's not either.

I'm sure I'm not alone in these seemingly murky depths. Please forgive this early post any offense. Please try to understand the spirit in which it is intended.

Any help and support is *GREATLY* appreciated.

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