I grew up in an exceedingly dry and academic religious group called Theosophy. I learned plenty about myths, indeed the start of every Sunday children's class began with a story that fit with the theme of the week.
But it was all very dry. There weren't any rituals other than the sounding of a gong, and a very occasional intoned AUM. We were encouraged to meditate, but not to worship.
And now I'm interested in worship, in a relationship with a god or gods, but in my head they are still....archetypes. Concepts. Not real.
I remember as a kid I believed. I had my little alter to Krishna, and I'd intone his name one hundred and eight times before bedtime while counting on my brayer beads. (Lord Krishna, Avatar of Lord Vishnu, Protector of the Universe.)
As I find myself looking into paganism it all sounds very interesting. I want something spiritual in my life. But in the back of my head is the constant little voice saying, "its all very well, but you don't actually believe any of this stuff, do you?"
Edit: And as a question: How do you see the gods?
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