Thursday, September 01, 2011

When a Teacher is Not an Option

I am in the position where a teacher would be very useful. I can see very clearly who I want to be as a person, and where I want to end up religiously. I am pretty realistic about who I am right now, what my strengths and weaknesses are. I was working on that very stuff with my therapist, but I am pretty sure I have reached a point with her where the secular conversations just won't cut it anymore, and while she knows I am a polytheist, I don't think she really grokks it. A teacher- a group or an individual- would be helpful is pointing out the places to work on, and how to work on them, and as Kiya said in chat, being support during the Times of Great Flailing.

However. Right at the moment, I am not in much of a position to find a teacher. I don't want to get involved with my 'local' community, because the pagan 'scene', as it were, in this state unnerves me. I don't feel safe or comfortable around the people I have interacted with, and from what I can glean, most of the community is much of the same. The internet is also not likely to be of much help, because many teachers don't like to take on students they can't work with face to face, and honestly, that's something I really would want, that face to face connection. And I am not going to be in the financial position to leave this state for a depressingly long while, I suspect.

So: what do you do, when a teacher is the best option but an unavailable option? How do you keep yourself growing and moving and challenged, and not just walking blindfolded in circles over the same ground?

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