Friday, December 26, 2008

Raising children in your religion?

If you have children, do you plan to raise them in your religion? If so, how much? Will you just tell them about your beliefs, or will you expect them to participate in your rituals with you as well? What are your reasons?

This is something I've been thinking about a lot. I was raised Christian. I was taught that all other religions were "false". I had to go to church every Sunday. My parents read the Bible to each of us individually every night. I was completely surrounded by Christian teachings and didn't meet anyone who believed differently until I was in my late teens, unless it was people I was supposed to try to "convert."

Unfortunately, I found the Christian religion and most of its teachings quite depressing, and I am still struggling with some of the feelings I had because of my religious upbringing.

Now, my parents are strongly pushing their religion on my two-year-old niece. It makes me a bit uncomfortable, because she's only two years old so she isn't old enough to decide for herself. I wish I'd been allowed to decide for myself as a kid, and I don't want her to go through life dealing with some of the things I had to deal with. I don't want her growing up afraid she'll die in the night and go to hell, or thinking she can't stand up to people who bully her because she's supposed to "turn the other cheek" or think she's supposed to be subservient to men just because she happens to be female. (I realize that's probably not what the Christian teachings are intended to mean, but kids can easily get those kids of ideas and then have a hard time shaking them when they're older, which is what happened to me.)

So now that I've decided I want to be a Pagan (even though I don't know which path yet) and I am of the age where I could have children, I sometimes wonder, will I teach them all I can about my path (when I choose one) but still let them decide for themselves when they are old enough? Will I teach them about lots of different religions so they feel comfortable with people with lots of different beliefs but possibly be confused? Or will I just leave religion alone and let them discuss it if they want to, but not bring it up on my own? I think I want them to at least know what I believe, but I don't want them to feel pressured to believe it themselves.

Those of you who have kids, how have you chosen to deal with their religious upbringing? And those of you who don't have them yet but might someday, how do you plan to deal with it?

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