Saturday, April 18, 2009

Finally Feeling It?

I finally feel like things are clicking into place. I have a morning meditation that feels good to me, I’m starting to feel direct pulls toward certain things and in general, I feel pretty content in my spirituality. I read pretty much anything I can get my hands on be it books or the internet. I actually feel like I was a bit obsessed for a while. It seemed the more I researched and the more I learned, the more I thirsted. It was as if I was dehydrated and I couldn’t quench my thirst but I was also spinning in circles.

For a long time I wasn’t feeling a connection to deity and I also wasn’t sure if I felt something when I cast a circle, but I went through the motions, tried altering thing and adjusting them, read more, adjusted more, meditated more, reached down deep inside of myself and I think yesterday things finally ‘clicked’. I don’t see anything when I cast a circle, but I’m hearing a very distinct buzzing white noise. In the morning when I heard it, I thought it was something in the house. Last night I heard it again and started thinking ‘maybe’, then today I did a ritual in the woods and I definitely heard it and felt it. I felt like I was in the middle of a soap bubble. The buzzing seemed to be the walls of the bubble. I’m also feeling a tingling in my finger tips.

I think 'feeling it' is something different for everyone, but has anyone else had an 'ahh moment' where they finally felt like things were clicking and that they were finally understanding why they were pulled toward their path? Most of what I'm reading and studying is Wicca (mostly because there is more info available on Wicca than any other Pagan 'religions'). But I don't think that's going to end up being my path. I'm staying open and I figure my path will become more clear the longer I travel.

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